Monday, May 10, 2010

The Fight For Fluff

Okay, so it has been a while since my last posting. Blame it on not having a life, ergo no fun stories to write about as well as a serious case of writer’s block. And I am still mourning the outing of Ricky Martin. That will always hurt. But here I go.

So, since last we met, other than my Ricky Martin breakdown, I was in a life and death battle with fluff. Okay, maybe it was not that dramatic, but I was in a fierce battle with fluff with my never ending desire to get rid of the excess fluffage of which my body vociferously holds on to despite the fact that we are not in a famine, other than a self imposed one. It has proven to be a worthy adversary.

My “model” diet of not eating did not work out so well. I was able to last for a few days on only lettuce and green tea, but you can only go so far when the sight of a cupcake brings you to tears and you would trade your left testicle (if I had testicles which I assure you, I do not) for said cupcake. However, I am a few fluffy pounds lighter, and have been able to keep them off even with the re-introduction of solid food back into my diet. I even had a cupcake. Yay! But I still have much fluff to lose. Boo.

So, I am now trying a different approach. I am going to attempt to accept my fluff and its stubborn nature to adhere to my belly and my thighs, rather than my boobs and my butt. Why could you not just stay in my boobs and my butt? But I digress, and no pun intended. So, in this attempt to “love” my body, maybe I will start exercising since I need to anyway. But rather than doing it to get less fluffy, I will do it to get healthier. Blah, blah, blah, who am I kidding? Deep down, it will still mostly be for aesthetic reasons.

And so here is the fight for fluff. As you may know, I am trying to break into an industry where you are based on your dress size. Zero and negative digits are preferred, and you may be able to slide up to a size 2 or 4 if you are almost freakishly tall like me. But you are really pushing it at a size 4, especially in the modeling industry. However, if you are on the opposite end of the spectrum, you can be a “character” actor or a “plus size model” if you are overweight. Does this sound wrong to anyone else? What about us fluffy girls in the middle? Why do you have to be icky thin or overweight to get work in acting or modeling? Why can we not just be actors and models without the need of being either or on the dress size scale? We can act and model too god damn it. Give us a chance, and let us eat a damn cupcake without feeling guilty.

Would the world really end if there were a size 8 or 10 model in Vogue or she be the latest starlet? Me thinks not. In fact, I think the women of the world would rejoice in finally seeing someone who actually looks like them, and has a body type and size that is actually achievable. Now I know there are women out there that are naturally super skinny. However, they are an extreme minority and do not represent the rest of us who are just medium in size. Also, it is not a healthy thing to promote either extreme of skinny or overweight. Healthy should be promoted. Why is this something that the entertainment and modeling industry are so vehemently against?

I for one, who has major body issues and is in need of thousands of dollars worth of therapy to help address, would like to see some size 6-10s in magazines and the silver screen. I would like to see a girl with a little fluff and not have it be viewed as gross. Because whether we want to believe it or not, this does affect us all: men, women and children. It shows that only perfection will succeed, get the girl or boy, and that they are the only ones worth anything. When I do see an actress get butchered in the media for having gained a little weight, making her to be gross and less than for that minor little flaw, I cannot help but feel they are butchering me. Because even at her fattest, she is still thinner than me or most women I know or the same size. So if she is gross, what does that make us?

Hence, the fight for fluff, because fluffy girls need to work too.